Ask The Professor- receive

[ProfessorPap]

< Drknecro> ive created the ultimate prank
< Drknecro> we get like 50 guys to jack off into a pool
< Drknecro> then we fill the pool with water
< Drknecro> so it be like sperm thick water
< Drknecro> then we get a girl to swim in it :O
< Drknecro> bam, pregnancy without sex

for some reason this made me think, so i did a little research.  here is a brief feasibility study for this prank:


MATERIALS:

- one smallish home swimming pool, filled to capacity with about 15,000 gallons of water.
- 50 male emissions, each of which contains about a teaspoon of ejaculate.  ejaculate being a mixture of four gland emissions including 350 million sperm for a total of 17.5 billion sperm in the pool.
- one fertile female in a bathing suit.


PROS:

- human sperm can theoretically live for up to five days inside the female.
- only one sperm is required to produce pregnancy.
- assuming a wide dispersal, there will be 1.2 million sperm per gallon of water.
- if the female decides to skinny dip it would provide less physical barriers.
- if the female was aroused for whatever reason it would greatly influence the chances of sperm uptake, mostly due to easier physical access and the production of secretions which would help the sperm navigate.


CONS:

- each male's emission is going to be dissolved into 300 or more gallons of water.
- chances are anything normally added to pools (such as chlorine) to control bacteria, virii, fungus and the like will probably kill the sperm right away.
- sperm likely have a low survival ability outside a narrow pH (slightly alkaline is their preference) and temperature (slightly below body temperature is their preference).
- since the sperm will be removed from their fluid transport mechanisms (the seminal, cowper's and prostate secretions) and greatly diluted into water, they may not be able to survive or function correctly.
- the bathing suit and a state of non-arousal on the part of the female could effecticely create too many barriers for the sperm to navigate past.
- a sperm cell may simply lack the energy to travel all the way to the proto-egg from 'ground zero'.


FEASABILITY:

iffy at best.  many factors of a biochemical nature could cause the experiment to fail, starting most importantly with the immediate mass death of all 17.5 billion brave sperm volunteers.  under perfect conditions success may be possible but precedent seems to be against this- no reported cases of people getting pregnant by way of non-intercoursal friskiness in hot tubs are on record.

given success, another scenerio arises- if the female does become pregnant and carries the baby to term she has some chances to collect child-support from any and all of the potential fathers given the fact that 'loose lips sink ships'.  if the father is underage the responsibility may shift to his family.  OTOH, the burden of proof may hinge on DNA testing depending on the jurisdiction, which would make it much harder to identify the real father.  still, if all 50 fathers came forth together then child-support could be split 50 ways, greatly reducing the financial burden.  indeed, given today's sociological climate those 50 fathers would probably have many lucrative opportunities, such as the talk-show rounds, book deals, series and movie rights, and possibly greatest of all- unlimited endorsement deals for prophylactics and male sexual supplements and aids.  the mother would arguably have even greater money-making potential.


CONCLUSIONS:

the professor recommends you go ahead with the prank immediately.  create a media circus out of the event and rig the results to produce success.  then sit back and rake in the cash and fame on the order of a tonya harding or a john wayne bobbitt.  just try to make the most of your 15 minutes of fame, because the next 51 people probably have something even sillier and more titillating lined up.

[FatKidRulez]

just lol...
god bless america!

[CommunistBus]

Most people just ignore everything necro says... but hey to each his own.

[begon]

50 men in a pool with other's semen... EWW...
But like, weird you typing all this about it o.o;

[IhumpMarines]

Why the fuk are we talking about 50 men naked in the pool?  

God necro stop advertising gay porn u homo sexual.  :lol:  

[Drknecro]

up yours marine humpar
>=(


Professor what are the odds of me getting a girl pregnant before 18 ?(im 14 right now)

[TonksLT]

Dude, come to Brownsville, PA. My school has the highest teen pregnancy rate in Western Pennsylvania.  :blink:  

[Capnkj2]

I'm speechless...now we need to make a poll for the girls of the site to see if they would swim in the pool for some ridiculously high amount of money.  :lol:  

[AtheistFury]

I'd swim for 400,000 Gold.
600,000 Gold for diving, head covered >.>

[Drknecro]

Dude, come to Brownsville, PA. My school has the highest teen pregnancy rate in Western Pennsylvania.  :blink:

youre pregnant >_>

[TonksLT]

I am? But how does that work?

:unsure:  

[Sureth]

up yours marine humpar
>=(


Professor what are the odds of me getting a girl pregnant before 18 ?(im 14 right now)

I'm not a professor, but I'd say pretty fucking high.

[Drknecro]

I am? But how does that work?

:unsure:

youre fat due to baby and your breasts have enlarged alot... due to baby >_>  

[mezzaninex]

Dude, come to Brownsville, PA. My school has the highest teen pregnancy rate in Western Pennsylvania.  :blink:

Western Pennsylvania
World

my town, Fremont, is the largest small town in California. XD

---------------

anyway, i cant believe i just read that prof... i must have a mental condition...
yes, you too

[LordMerqury]

what about having the guys jack off in their own homes into small tupperware containers (preferably small lpastic salad dressing containers) and just pour the semen into the pool. Get all of the men from your school and all the men you know to do it.